The power of what others think of you may have a stronger hold on you than you realize. Many people come into my office to change their life for the better, not knowing what is holding them back. Sometimes, they are wanting to overcome what is stopping them from following a dream. Other times they are miserable, depressed and unhappy and wanting to get a divorce. But regardless, something is stopping them that they are just not aware of…the fear of what other people will think.
The fear of judgment can make you go broke, spending money you don’t have. It can keep you from putting yourself out there or marketing yourself effectively.
I have met life coaches and EFT practitioners who hid what they did for a living from their family for fear of what their family would think. I have worked with people who didn’t follow their dreams, couldn’t attract new clients, and wouldn’t market themselves, because they feared being judged by others. I have met women who have gone broke trying to “look the part,” buying things they couldn’t afford, because they were controlled by their fear of judgment.
I could go on and on, giving examples of how the fear of judgment stops us from marketing ourselves effectively, prevents us from following our dreams and creates a need to spend money that we don’t have.
I know these fear all too well myself. I remember being in my 20s and with every decision I made, in the background I was judging what I wanted based on what I feared my parents would think. I obsessed about what my friends would think and even about what complete strangers might think. After years of working on myself, I was able to effectively overcome my own fears and I now work with others helping them to overcome fear of judgment.
Recently I worked with a man who I will call David. David was a caring therapist, but was stuck due to his fear of judgment. His parents were school teachers and often gave him the message, “You need to do well, you know how everyone at the school will talk if you don’t.” On one level, this motivated David, but it made him horribly afraid that if he was less than perfect, everyone would laugh and make fun of him. This judgment never happened, but imagining it for years as a kid made it feel real, and he wanted to do all he could to prevent it. He became a perfectionist and never tried much unless he was certain it could be perfect and no one would judge him. After working through these fears, David was able to let go of his anxiety and see that what he feared wasn’t real.
I was able to help him align himself with a new truth, that what he had to offer, the world really needed, everyone really needed. This became his new truth and allowed him to be authentic in his marketing, which allowed him to put himself out there.
David was just one of many people out there who fear what others think.
I am here to tell you that those whose judgments you fear…are not paying your bills, or helping you to be the best you. We should never give others that kind of power over ourselves. Playing small doesn’t benefit anyone.
The most important opinion of you should be yours and yours alone. If you are ever going to be happy with you, live your life to make you happy. I encourage you to explore beyond the surface and break free from what is really stopping you. The best chapter of your life could be the next chapter. Find a good EFT practitioner or EFT empowerment event to help you overcome what stops you from living your best life.
Lots of Love,